Lords of the maritime world

Santosh Patil on upstarts causing consternation in conservative shipping circles.

“How dare they do not invite me,” thundered Lord Twist, bristling at the fact of not being welcomed at a recent event. His participation at such events was taken as a forgone conclusion and this act of open defiance, saw Lord Twist visibly angry. One of his courtiers therefore rightfully took to the microblogging platform Cribber making their displeasure public.

Nestled comfortably in a country which adds a certain adjective in everything it does, Lord Twist summoned his courtiers to give a dressing down to the entire industry; lest no one dare question its golden pass status in the future. The note condemned the industry for not being transparent. Indeed, Lord Twist was only repeating his demand for the industry to be more transparent as he last stated in the 1700s. Any mention of the fact that Lord Twist made his fortunes (and continues to) from those who favour this opacity is to belittle the point.

Not being invited at leading events is a bit of a touchy issue for Lord Twist as events have increasingly been significant for his lordship’s enterprise. Since its traditional royal enterprise was providing diminishing returns, of late Lord Twist has been found focussing on shoring up its dwindling fortunes with industry leading events and awards. Some unconfirmed reports reveal that such recognitions are increasingly available to those who choose to ‘contribute’ to the higher cause of ‘independent’ opinion making, although other sources see this as a bit ‘content’ious.

Lord Twist recently announced that the world centres around Washington, London and Brussels and that the landmass east of the Bosphorus is perhaps as barren as the martian sea.

Lord Brakewinds too was overheard to have supported this notion speaking on the sidelines of a Bosphorus dinner after having travelled across to the edge of the known universe.

However, the calm seas which the lords are used to, have been made choppy in recent times by the arrival of a certain johnny-come-lately, who has strayed away from the traditional and acceptable code of conduct, much to the consternation of the lords.

The commoner, whose name seems to suggest nothing but a mere dash of water and is often seen as an outlier who engages a tad too much with his constituents, nonetheless appears to be gushing through the cracks of established wisdom. Some industry observers indicate that the newcomer is rapidly gaining popularity in the social circles with his fast-paced approach and the ability to stay with the times. Others contend that the novice is a bit too chirpy for their taste.

So, when the newcomer attempted to celebrate a few years of his existence with a harmless post, ‘Know your place!’ pounded a Lord Twist confidant on Cribber lording over a 250-year plus legacy against the infancy of the newbie.

Hear ye, hear ye all those who even think of breathing the same air as the mighty Lord Twist…. do so at your own peril for hell hath no fury than a lord scorned.


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  1. Someone is going to have to explain this to me. I fear the details went over my head.

  2. Without any knowledge of the specifics, and as a solid member of the Joe Lunchbox class, I can well imagine that there has likely been some huffing & puffing by one of the Entitled Elites who float around at the top of the shipping world food chain. Anyone who is confused by this missive, may well be up there as well, but forced to treat-water to remain there, as opposed to simply floating around by virtue of some source of divine right … hence the need for explanation. This said – I will be interested to read Santosh Patil’s epilogue.

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