Jon Chaplin from GMS identifies many characters from Greece’s most famous shipping show.
Lunchidonia
As in: “Piers mate, it’s Jonno – you up for a spot of Lunchidonia at the Margi?” Often used to justify the hours between 1pm to 5pm as a business meeting. Requires a table in the permanent shade and yet sunglasses to be warn at all times. Lobster, sourdough and overly garlic tzatziki to soak up the free flow vino. Others may join as the afternoon wears on.
Warnings: no matter how convivial the atmosphere, while engaging in Lunchidonia you must not: remove your shirt; order three LNG carriers from Richard Fulford-Smith; stop at the table just to say hello, have one glass and get left with the entire bill.
Attire: linen shirt, pink shorts, socks with Birkenstocks.
A New Posidea
A great revenue generating idea or initiative, conceptualised over drinks with two or more business friends at a cocktail table. If the idea still makes sense in the morning, action immediately.
Posidrama
Typically when inflating the importance and consequence of a mundane or everyday situation. As in: “My skin is literally peeling off and I’m soaking in sweat after waiting outside for almost 10 minutes for the Beat driver.” “Aren’t you being a bit Posidramatic?”
Beef Barf
Chronic nausea resulting from exuberant indulgence at overpriced steak restaurants. Often triggered in the morning by sudden and severe anxiety on discovery of receipt in jacket pocket.
See also: “Oh god, I think I’m going to be ithaki.”
Nocoffeedonian
Nocoffeedonians arrive at the Expo at one minute past 11am naively expecting to order a coffee from the self-service restaurant. On rejection, subjects are prone to confusion, despondency, exhaustion and best left alone. They can be seen marketing their company’s products from a sedentary position at the back of their stand reading personal emails and scrolling their FYP on TikTok.
Posiboria
The condition associated with immediate onset of chronic boredom during social interaction. Watch out for trigger phrases including “So when did you arrive / where are you staying?” And “Talk me through how you came to know every single Greek shipowner personally from the age of five?” Or “Just how idyllic is your family place in Spetses?” Not forgetting “Tell me about your taxi ride to the Expo today.”
Selfiedonia
The urge to snap yourself, arm in arm and grinning broadly with either your main competitor or an anonymous random introduced by them or an unknown third party. Traditionally taken at a coastal bar, leaning on rails or a glass wall with your backs to the ocean. You won’t post it so don’t bother.
Posiposeur
As in: who invited that Posiposeur? Often heard talking loudly and animatedly about their latest deal or recent fixture. Actual example: “Had a client who needed a vessel up the banana channel. It got messy.” Visual recognition cues: overly fitted suit, brown shoes, swagger honed at minor British public school, early onset narcissism.
PosiDOs and PosiDONTs
DO:
Pack more underwear.
Put on the mask if the driver asks you. Do it politely, graciously.
Have alcohol available for the infinitely variable period between party-readiness and getting a Beat driver to accept your booking. Mood / energy swings likely.
Grow a third arm to hold the shower head and wash hair simultaneously at your Airbnb.
Be advised that the thin cotton sheet placed folded on your bed is there in place of a duvet.
Pack an emergency overnighter for when you are evacuated by the Voula Fire Brigade.
Know the difference between Kalispera and Kalimera.
Get your boss pictured shaking hands with Mr Marinakis and post immediately on LinkedIn.
Help old friends become suppliers to your new employer.
DON’T:
Ask your colleague and Airbnb roommate to pick up some general groceries on their way back, in case they return with a one huge watermelon and nothing else.
Drink that orange gloop described as a summer cocktail. Or imagine you’re fine to drive after downing 10.
Repeat the same anecdotes to the same people you saw at the party last night / an hour earlier.
Start a discussion about whether by buying and shipping a Tesla in a climate-choking car carrier from the US, you are helping to save the planet. Or worse, the pros and cons of powering shipping with nuclear energy… you know nothing about it and neither does anyone else. Let it go.
Enjoyed Jon’s witty take on Posidonia? Check out his article from 2018 on the differences between Posidonians and Vouliadonians.
This is definitely the best pen portrait of the Posidonia that I know and don’t particularly love.
Absolutely excellent and anyone thinking of going next time should keep this and its predecessor from 2018 on file.
Can not understand why ” p#ssydonia ” was ignored.
Good point, but one has to draw the line somewhere… 🙂
I trace this particular aspect of The Event to a falling out between a long established and respectable Greek salvage company and a long established and respectable Dutch salvage company in relation to allegations by one that the other one paid commissions on Lloyds Forms.
Whilst I am quite sure that no such transactions ever took place and no such allegations were ever made, the spat did somehow cause one of the parties to it to decorate its stand at Posidonia with a supply of young ladies who were more than usually comely to behold, in order to promote traffic at their stand.
In the days of my youth, as an articled shark with a then prominent firm of City solicitors, I acted often for both, and I am in a position to state that the ethics of both were then, and no doubt are now, indistinguishable.
Positourists especially pay attention!
You should use Uber next time!